Lead by Example

I am a big believer in leading by example - in life and in parenting.

My children probably come by their stubbornness honestly - I can be very stubborn.  When something doesn't work for them or happen as easily as they think it should, my children can become very frustrated and have a temper tantrum meltdown.

I try to explain to them that it's not the end of the world and help them understand how to express their frustration healthily - understanding that 3 year olds and 15 month olds have a limited understanding of healthy frustration expression.

As we grow, unfortunately we are not able to completely eliminate frustration in our lives - so learning to handle frustration is an important life skill.  Since we are all human, even the best of us are unable to handle frustration healthily 100% of the time.

In addition, there are people in everyone's lives who don't handle frustration with the highest level of emotional intelligence.

I believe that children learn what they see and practice what they see most often.  Therefore, I try even harder to handle my frustration in a manner that I would want my children to emulate.

Some of the tactics I use to keep my cool in the face of frustrating moments include:  reminding myself that it is not likely that anyone will actually catch on fire if something doesn't work out, counting to 10, breathing deeply, asking myself if this is a battle worth fighting, and remembering what the important things in life are.  When something isn't working how I believe it should, I try to ask myself if the thing I am frustrated by will matter in 10 minutes, days, hours, months, years...if the answer is no then I am typically able to curb my frustration and look at the situation in a new light.

Am I able to succeed in modeling good habits for my children all the time?  No!  But I believe children learn from mistakes they see too.  And when my children see me trying to model healthy behavior, even when I am not a successful model, they see a mom who cares enough to try and that will ultimately give them the confidence they will need to take risks, experience successes and failures and face frustrating circumstances with the healthy tools they need.