Wisdom Wednesday

"We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning."

- Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear

Books for Parents

Reading is something I enjoy.  Admittedly since becoming a mom finding time to read is nearly impossible.  

Before becoming a mom I routinely read all sorts of books and there are a few I would recommend any parent or caregiver of children read...

1.      The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence by Gavin de Becker

2.      Protecting the Gift:  Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin de Becker

3.      Reviving Ophelia:  Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher

4.      Raising Cain:  Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson

5.   On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam

Wisdom Wednesday

“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls...are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”

James Patterson, Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

Conflicting Information

Have you ever noticed that the dos and don'ts of pregnancy differ depending on the doctor you see or practice you visit?

I went to two different medical practices for each of my pregnancies and quickly discovered there were many differences in the two. 

At one practice I was told not to (under any circumstance) take anything with a decongestant in it during my pregnancy.  At another practice I was told that decongestant was fine to take.  As I discussed my pregnancies with friends I would learn other differences in practices.

As I have mentioned before, I Google everything when I need more information - so if there was a discrepancy I would Google it.  I was never able to find conclusive answers - for as many sites I located that said the same thing as my doctor; I found as many sites that said the opposite of my doctor.

 I have found the same to be true with pediatricians. 

Some people follow their doctor's guidance to the letter.  Other people push the envelope and do what they want regardless of their doctor's advice. 

I am not the type of person to just blindly follow anyone's advice - so I would Google the seemingly conflicting guidance and try to come to a happy medium between the conflicting advice. 

How is it that medicine is a science but it seems there is no conclusive right or wrong? 

I don't know the answer to that question but I do your due diligence as a patient and research your options before taking one medical professional's advice over another...and when in doubt, follow your gut - because you know what is best for your health and the health of your children.

Wisdom Wednesday

“Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes”

Chinese Proverb


Is it hard to discipline your children?  I admit it's sometimes hard for me.  The reactions of a child can be so dramatic and heartbreaking for a parent.

Although it's hard, it is part of a parent's job to discipline their children.  Staying strong and consistent is tough but when you consider the consequences implied in the proverb above, it reminds me that discipline is part of loving your child - albeit a not so fun part of loving your child.  Think about it like this, changing poop filled diapers isn't fun either but it is also a necessity.

Cheaper Lunchables

My son enjoys lunchables.  What's not to enjoy - cubed meat and cheese, crackers all in the convenience of a small package.

There are a few things I don't like about lunchables - the price, the freshness of the food and the variety.

I have found an easy, fresher and more flexible way to prepare lunchables that is much easier on my wallet.

Here is what I do:

1. Stock up on zip lock bags
2. Go to my favorite deli
3. Request thick slices of any kind of meat and cheese (tell them you are going to cube the meat and cheese - you will want it to be approximately 3/4 of an inch thick)
4. Cut meat and cheese into cubes
5. Depending on the appetite of your child, place some cubes of each of the meats and cheeses into a zip lock bag

I like to purchase enough meat and cheese to make several lunchables at one time.  After they are made, I place the zip lock bags into a larger freezer bag together and place in the freezer. 

When I need to pack a lunch, I pull a pre-made lunchable out of the freezer, package up some Ritz crackers and voila - quick, healthier, and less expensive lunch for my child.  I can also keep it interesting for my child by getting a various meats and cheese.

The great thing about freezing the meat and cheese is that it thaws in the morning and by lunch time it's unfrozen yet still cold.

I encourage you to try this if you children enjoy lunchables.  The prep is simple and the results are phenomenal.

Wisdom Wednesday

We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.

Henry Ward Beecher

Abolitionist, Social Reformer



Isn't it amazing how strong and profound the love for your children is?  I love my husband, my parents, friends and other family - but the love I have for my children far outweighs the love I have for those people.

After I had my eldest, I wondered how I could ever love another child as much as I loved him.  Then my second was born and sure enough - the love was there with the same intensity! 

I'm certain if I had additional children, my love for them will also be as strong.  Take a moment to enjoy the love only you know!

Manners

When my eldest was born, I signed up for weekly emails about his development.  At 52 weeks, the emails reduced in frequency to monthly.  Mostly these emails are helpful - it's fun to see the progress your child is making.

Today my eldest is 33 months old and I still get monthly emails.  This past month the email focused on teaching your child manners.  This email told me that "now is the time to start teaching your child manners". 

What!?

My child is nearly 3 years old and now I should START teaching manners...

Maybe it's just me but I have always believed in treating my children how I would want to be treated.  Part of treating my children the way I would want to be treated is saying please and thank you during our routine interactions.  I would never interact with another adult without utilizing good manners so why would I turn off my manners when I am interacting with my children.

As a result my 33 month old uses please and thank you and generally utilizes good manners.  While I am not implying that my eldest always uses good manners - what I am implying is that by modeling good manners when I talk with my children STARTed teaching them good manners at birth.

What do you think?