New Year - New You

Resolutions are the popular thing to do around this time of year...people resolving to work out, lose weight, quit smoking, etc...  Is there a way to be more successful as we enter a new year?

The dictionary defines a resolution as ‘the state or quality of being resolute; firm determination; the act of resolving to do something. A course of action determined or decided upon.’

An intention is defined as ‘an aim that guides an action; an intention signifies a course of action that one proposes to follow; purpose and determination.'

A resolution is something that often we fail to complete.  How many of us have made a new year's resolution that we failed to complete before 90, 60, or even 30 days?  I have made resolutions for many years and typically failed to complete them - in fact, I cannot recall even one resolution I have successfully integrated into my life.

An intention is something that you are choosing for your life that will guide your actions.  Intentions guide your behaviors as you navigate toward your goals.

A resolution might be "I resolve to work out more in 2013."

An intention might be "I intend to make healthier choices in 2013."

As a part of your intention of making healthier choices you may determine that adding a work out routine to your life would be beneficial.  But you might also determine that eating fewer desserts.  An intention will guide the choices you make.

So an intention is not as "all or nothing" as a resolution - there is not measurement by pass or fail.  An intention can be measured by each choice you make in a day - and let's face it we make hundreds of choices each day.

My challenge to you is to abandon resolutions and make a list of your intentions for 2013 and let those intentions guide all your life choices!

Happy New Year!

Wisdom Wednesday

"The best thing about the future is that is comes only one day at a time."

~Abraham Lincoln

Wisdom Wednesday

"Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."

~Peg Bracken

Best Kept Secret

My sister shared with me what I consider to be a Christmas secret that is one of the best kept secrets in this day and age.

Parents should make sure to visit the Portable North Pole today!  As a result of this free site, my sons were able to receive a video message straight from the star gift giver - Santa Claus!

As the song goes:

You better not pout, you better not cry, you better watch out I'm telling you why - Santa Claus is coming to town!
 

He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!

Through the Portable North Pole site, you can give your permission to Santa and he will contact your child.

I encourage you to do this before Santa makes his flight next week!

Happy Holidays!

 

 

Wisdom Wednesday

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."

~Thomas Jefferson

As a parent, sometimes we feel as though we are just going to lose it!  Work is demanding, the children are demanding - life in general is demanding!

But just as we are teetering on the edge - we find a way to hang on and keep plugging along.  Celebrate yourself and your ability to keep hanging onto your rope!

On the Other Hind

My eldest son and I recently took an exciting trip - to the toddler underwear department.

It was an exciting milestone for him, a step from toddler to preschooler! As we looked at the vast selection of character themed underwear, we selected a couple of packages of his favorite heroes.

When we arrived home mission one was to wear a pair of our big boy undies. He selected a pair to put on. Much to his disappointment, all of the printed pictures were on his bottom. He could not see what was on his butt!

Our solution was to wear them backwards. But why would toddler underwear makers put the characters on the backside of the undergarments?

I am not suggesting our method of wearing the backwards is a plausible solution for everyone but if your potty trainer finds it more comforting to see his/her selected characters you may want to give it a try.

Wisdom Wednesday

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles have strengthened ... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

~Walt Disney

Wisdom Wednesday

"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body"

~Benjamin Franklin

The Lesson I Should Have Learned

If you are like me you take digital photos - utilizing your phone and camera.  Perhaps my parents instilled in me the value of having photos as a sentimental reminder of the past, or perhaps I just want to try to capture the beauty that surrounds me in photos.  Either way, if you are like me many of the photos I take never make it to print.  Rather, most of the photos live electronically on my computer and external hard drive.

A couple of years ago, a good friend of mine lost many of her beloved photos because her computer was stolen when home was broken into.  She was heartbroken at losing the photos but was able to re-collect some of her child's first year because she had emailed some of them and uploaded others for printing - definitely not the same but at least it was something...

Shortly after that situation I began backing my photos up onto an external hard drive and a USB drive - placing them in different locations in the event that my computer was stolen.

Fast forward to earlier this week - I was attempting to gather some photos for a Christmas present and my drive crashed!  To my utter dismay, I had not kept current with both of my back up systems and I had only uploaded all the photos I took in 2012 to my external hard drive.  The hard drive would not work no matter what I did and I feared most of 2012 - photographically speaking - was lost!

After calling some computer businesses, I ended up spending a small fortune and was fortunate that all my photos were recovered!  That was a relief - but I have now vowed to have not only hard drive and USB backups but also an online backup of my pictures...

A simple search on google for online photo storage brings up several options for online backup programs.  I ended up going with a program called Drop Box.  It's an online document storage system that my husband uses for his business.  Since he already has a relationship with them - that system seemed the best for us.

If you are the type of person who enjoys looking at copies of your photos (rather than printing photos) I highly recommend looking into online storage so you can have peace of mind.  Know that a computer is just a thing that can be replaced but online sphoto storage will be there for you even if the unforseen such as a situations and you won't lose your photos alltogether.

Wisdom Wednesday

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy;
they are the charming gardeners
who make our souls blossom."

Marcel Proust

French Novelist

The Best of Intentions

We've all received parenting advice from various sources...the national news, local news, magazines, friends, family, strangers we encounter - some of the advice is valuable, other advice is complete fabrication, and other advice is of sound theory but little practical application.

I recently read an article that urges parents to not allow children under 3 years old to watch television, stare at computer screens, or use electronics.  This is a prime example of advice that is of very sound theory but for me has very little practical application. 

Let me first say, I am not an advocate for sitting your child (no matter what age) in front of the television or other electronic item and relying on them to entertain and occupy your child.  However, I also know that there are times when it's necessary to rely on electronics to help manage your children.

Shortly after giving birth to my first son I recall someone telling me it was important to nurse my child without televisions, radios and other distractions.  Honestly, with four dogs and a cat, I was less than successful in eliminating all distractions when nursing him.

Then I had my second child 22 months after my oldest was born.  I found it incredibly difficult to keep my oldest entertained while nursing my second child - enter electronics into part of our daily entertainment.  Not to mention, I would be hard pressed to think of a time when I nursed my second son that had no distractions.

In practice, if you only had one child I would argue that it is possible to not let your child watch television or utilize electronics prior to age 3.  However I suspect that even with only one child this feat would be nearly impossible. 

So what do you do when you are torn between what the "experts" are telling you and the reality of your situation?  While there is no right answer to this question, I recommend listening to your instincts.  If your instincts tell you something won't irreparably scar you or your children, then proceed.  Even the best parents aren't perfect - sometimes we just have to do the best we can!

Wisdom Wednesday

"The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important."

~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

To Glide or Not to Glide

Many to be parents plan to purchase a glider rocker before their child is born.  During the first several months of your wee one's life you will likely spend all hours of the day and night feeding and rocking your baby.

I am unsure why the glider rocker is so popular for nurseries but nonetheless, in every baby section of all stores the glider rocker is there begging to be purchased. 

My personal opinion of the glider rocker is that they are uncomfortable to sit in for long periods of time.  I did want something to rock my baby in but I felt like we could accomplish this differently than my being uncomfortable.

When the birth of my first child was impending I knew I needed to find something to rock my miracle in that would be comfortable.  I was also hesitant to pay a large amount of money on a chair that might only be used for one year. 

My solution?

After trying out the more advanced glider rockers and rocking chairs of various shapes and sizes, I looked at recliner rockers.  We went to La-Z-Boy and "test drove" several models of the recliner rockers.  Finally I found the perfect chair.  True that it was slightly more expensive than a basic glider rocker, but it was slightly less expensive that the more advanced glider rockers.

Two children later I am so thankful we went with the recliner rocker.  I can tell you that there have been many nights over the past 3 years that either my husband or I have had to sleep with one of the kids in the recliner.  The chair is not the same as a bed but it is  definitely more comfortable to sleep on than a glider rocker.

And when my children no longer need me  in the middle of the night and I can spend every night in my own bed, I can use the recliner as a recliner in my living room.

Wisdom Wednesday

"Intense love does not measure, it just gives."

~Mother Teresa

Quick Adjustment as Daylight Savings Time Ends

Daylight Savings Time officially ends tonight.  Before children, this was my favorite two days of the year.  The extra hour of sleep was so very lovely!

As parents know, children don't always let us sleep later just because it is the weekend or just because the clock is turning back an hour.

For some children the adjustment of this one hour is very difficult.  As a working mom, I have needed my children to adjust rather quickly to daylight savings time beginning and ending.

I have found the best method to getting infants to adjust in about 24 hours is to adjust in 15 minute increments.

Tomorrow will look like this for my children:

Saturday, 11/3 Schedule             Sunday, 11/4 Schedule

7 am Breakfast                                  6:15 am Breakfast

10:30 am Nap                                   9:45 am Nap

12 pm Lunch                                    11:45 am Lunch

2 pm Nap                                          2 pm Nap

4 pm Snack                                       4 pm Snack

5:30 pm Dinner                                  5:30 pm Dinner

7 pm Bed                                           7 pm Bed

This way when Monday rolls around, my 1 year old is adjusted to the time change.

I have found that this has worked twice a year since 2010 with both my children.

Enjoy your extra hour if you are able – you deserve it!

Wisdom Wednesday

"To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another."

Author: Katherine Patterson

Halloween Costumes

As a practical parent, I bought my now nearly 3 year old a costume for 2012 on clearance after Halloween 2011.  When I selected a clearance costume I shied away from any "trendy" costumes - no characters in case they "went out of style" before this Halloween.  I bought an airplane costume thinking that airplanes must always be cool.

Two weeks ago people began asking my son what he was going to be for Halloween.  Instead of replying with airplane, my son said, "a witch".  At first I responded with, "No you are going to be an airplane."  My thought was that he would eventually change his mind and decide the plane costume was for him.

Needless to say, we are now just days away from Halloween and my son insists that he is going to be a witch.  So I am scurrying around attempting to find a witch costume for my boy and that is proving to be a difficult feat.

Apparently witch costumes have morphed from being a black dress, hat and broom into pink and purple tutus with flowers on the hats.  When did witches become frilly?  In my quest to find what I thought was a simple costume has turned into a baffling mystery to me.  What is a Candy Corn Witch?  A Princess Witch?  Prior to this quest the only non-scary witch I was familiar with was Glenda the Good Witch of the North from The Wizard of Oz.

I have no problem with my son dressing as a witch for Halloween.  And I understand that if he is a witch he will likely need to wear a costume that is labeled as a girls' costume.  But I do draw the line at him dressing in a tutu to be a witch.

While I was able to find a plain black witch dress that will work as his costume, I remain baffled by the difficulty in finding a traditional witch costume.  What happened to the simplicity of traditional costumes?  I cannot answer that question but I can make some predictions about future Halloweens.  I predict that at some point my son will want to be something complicated and non-traditional in the years to come.  I also predict that when his complicated non-traditional request appears, the only costumes I will be able to find will be the simple traditional costumes.  Isn't that always the way it works?

Wisdom Wednesday

"Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching."

~Thomas Jefferson

And even if the world isn't watching, odds are your children are watching!

Wisdom Wednesday

"Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today."

~Abraham Lincoln

Fall Fun

Fall is here in full swing.  The leaves are displaying in the beautiful colors only autumn can produce.

With Halloween quickly approaching, we went out and got our pumpkins to decorate today.  We chose to purchase our pumpkins from a youth fund raiser at a local church. 

With two toddlers I determined that doing something other than carving them would be more meaningful for my boys.  My first thought was paint but then I quickly realized if I purchased water based paint (for easier clean up) the paint would likely be ruined by October 31st if there was any rain. 

In an effort to allow my children maximum creativity for our project, I purchased some glow in the dark transfers.  The transfers were touted to be easy for kids to apply.  The application of the transfers were similar to applying temporary tattoos.  Cut the picture you want, peel off the plastic cover, place on the pumpkin face down and press with a wet rag or sponge.

The instructions were simple enough and in concept they were extremely easy.  In practice, transferring these pictures to the pumpkins was much more difficult than I was led to believe.

The pictures did not stick to the pumpkins very well - and what did stick was very wrinkled and distorted.  My kiddos had a blast selecting their decorations for the pumpkins but were upset that they came out "broken" on the pumpkins.  Despite the difficulty our pumpkins look scary and for Halloween, that was our ultimate goal!

Wisdom Wednesday

"Lost time is never found again."

Benjamin Franklin

Here Kiddie, Kiddie, Kiddie

Recently I took my children to the zoo.  The temperature was ideal, the sun was shining, and the zoo animals were active - a glorious day!  There were even very few visitors so we weren't fighting crowd either.

Often when I visit a zoo or amusement park setting I wind up practically following the same people the entire time I am there.  They are people I don't know at all but somehow, as if planned, no matter how many bathroom breaks, detours or snack breaks we take - the same people are standing right in front of us.

On my most recent zoo adventure, we followed a family from exhibit to exhibit - despite my efforts to separate our paths.

The family we were unintentionally following was utilizing a child leash on their child - who was at least 4 or 5 years old.

I recognize that what I am about to say may fly in the face of some of my readers - but what is up with a child leash?  What is the purpose of the leash?

There are several reasons I am opposed to the child leash.  While I realize as people we are animals, children are not dogs - why would you treat your flesh and blood the same way you would your beloved pet?

Is the purpose to help protect your child from being kidnapped because he or she won't be far enough away from you to be abducted by a stranger?  If that is the case, know that this is typically the thing many parents fear the most.  However, you can rest a little easier knowing that according to Gavin de Becker in Protecting the Gift, "A child is vastly more likely to have a heart attack, and child heart attacks are so rare that most parents (correctly) never even consider the risk."

Is the purpose to teach your child to stay near you?  I personally find that setting rules for my child and consistently enforcing the rules with my children a far more positive and effective method for teaching my child to stay near me.

I respect that parents have the right to choose the products they use on their children and if you are the parent that chooses to utilize the leash - I respect your choice.  But as a mom, I choose not to use a leash and choose to actively parent my child rather than relying on tools I would consider archaic and demeaning.

What do you think?

Wisdom Wednesday

"Ultimately, our goal is not merely that children survive, but that they thrive."

Gavin de Becker, Protecting the Gift

Making Memories

Recently my family and I spent two fantastic weeks at Walt Disney World in Florida; half the time I spent working and the other half making memories with my children and husband.

Walt Disney World is known for its exceptional service – Fortune 100 companies attend programs to learn the business behind the magic.  My children had an amazing time interacting with Disney's cast members and felt like they were kings of the world while we were there.

One thing Disney knows is that people will pay more if they perceive value in their investment.  As a result, a Disney vacation is very pricey.   Here are a few cost saving tips that we utilized:

• We brought freeze dried fruits and vegetables to rehydrate in the hotel room and enjoy
• We brought instant oatmeal and used the in-room coffee pot to cook the oatmeal
• The Swan Hotel has character dining - it's buffet style complete with a children's buffet.  The Garden Grove has great service and the characters circulate the restaurant and visit your table.
• The Electric Umbrella in Future World at EPCOT allows you to refill your drinks at the self-service fountain which gives you more bang for your buck

Using these few tricks we were able to save a significant amount of money during our vacation.  If you have other tips, share them here - we all want to save money!

Wisdom Wednesday

"Who takes the child by the hand, takes the mother by the heart."

-German Proverb

When your children are not with you - your heart is out walking around without you and doesn't return to you until your children are back in the safety of your arms!

Wisdom Wednesday

"We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning."

- Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear

Books for Parents

Reading is something I enjoy.  Admittedly since becoming a mom finding time to read is nearly impossible.  

Before becoming a mom I routinely read all sorts of books and there are a few I would recommend any parent or caregiver of children read...

1.      The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence by Gavin de Becker

2.      Protecting the Gift:  Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin de Becker

3.      Reviving Ophelia:  Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher

4.      Raising Cain:  Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson

5.   On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam

Wisdom Wednesday

“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls...are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”

James Patterson, Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

Conflicting Information

Have you ever noticed that the dos and don'ts of pregnancy differ depending on the doctor you see or practice you visit?

I went to two different medical practices for each of my pregnancies and quickly discovered there were many differences in the two. 

At one practice I was told not to (under any circumstance) take anything with a decongestant in it during my pregnancy.  At another practice I was told that decongestant was fine to take.  As I discussed my pregnancies with friends I would learn other differences in practices.

As I have mentioned before, I Google everything when I need more information - so if there was a discrepancy I would Google it.  I was never able to find conclusive answers - for as many sites I located that said the same thing as my doctor; I found as many sites that said the opposite of my doctor.

 I have found the same to be true with pediatricians. 

Some people follow their doctor's guidance to the letter.  Other people push the envelope and do what they want regardless of their doctor's advice. 

I am not the type of person to just blindly follow anyone's advice - so I would Google the seemingly conflicting guidance and try to come to a happy medium between the conflicting advice. 

How is it that medicine is a science but it seems there is no conclusive right or wrong? 

I don't know the answer to that question but I do your due diligence as a patient and research your options before taking one medical professional's advice over another...and when in doubt, follow your gut - because you know what is best for your health and the health of your children.

Wisdom Wednesday

“Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes”

Chinese Proverb


Is it hard to discipline your children?  I admit it's sometimes hard for me.  The reactions of a child can be so dramatic and heartbreaking for a parent.

Although it's hard, it is part of a parent's job to discipline their children.  Staying strong and consistent is tough but when you consider the consequences implied in the proverb above, it reminds me that discipline is part of loving your child - albeit a not so fun part of loving your child.  Think about it like this, changing poop filled diapers isn't fun either but it is also a necessity.

Cheaper Lunchables

My son enjoys lunchables.  What's not to enjoy - cubed meat and cheese, crackers all in the convenience of a small package.

There are a few things I don't like about lunchables - the price, the freshness of the food and the variety.

I have found an easy, fresher and more flexible way to prepare lunchables that is much easier on my wallet.

Here is what I do:

1. Stock up on zip lock bags
2. Go to my favorite deli
3. Request thick slices of any kind of meat and cheese (tell them you are going to cube the meat and cheese - you will want it to be approximately 3/4 of an inch thick)
4. Cut meat and cheese into cubes
5. Depending on the appetite of your child, place some cubes of each of the meats and cheeses into a zip lock bag

I like to purchase enough meat and cheese to make several lunchables at one time.  After they are made, I place the zip lock bags into a larger freezer bag together and place in the freezer. 

When I need to pack a lunch, I pull a pre-made lunchable out of the freezer, package up some Ritz crackers and voila - quick, healthier, and less expensive lunch for my child.  I can also keep it interesting for my child by getting a various meats and cheese.

The great thing about freezing the meat and cheese is that it thaws in the morning and by lunch time it's unfrozen yet still cold.

I encourage you to try this if you children enjoy lunchables.  The prep is simple and the results are phenomenal.

Wisdom Wednesday

We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.

Henry Ward Beecher

Abolitionist, Social Reformer



Isn't it amazing how strong and profound the love for your children is?  I love my husband, my parents, friends and other family - but the love I have for my children far outweighs the love I have for those people.

After I had my eldest, I wondered how I could ever love another child as much as I loved him.  Then my second was born and sure enough - the love was there with the same intensity! 

I'm certain if I had additional children, my love for them will also be as strong.  Take a moment to enjoy the love only you know!

Manners

When my eldest was born, I signed up for weekly emails about his development.  At 52 weeks, the emails reduced in frequency to monthly.  Mostly these emails are helpful - it's fun to see the progress your child is making.

Today my eldest is 33 months old and I still get monthly emails.  This past month the email focused on teaching your child manners.  This email told me that "now is the time to start teaching your child manners". 

What!?

My child is nearly 3 years old and now I should START teaching manners...

Maybe it's just me but I have always believed in treating my children how I would want to be treated.  Part of treating my children the way I would want to be treated is saying please and thank you during our routine interactions.  I would never interact with another adult without utilizing good manners so why would I turn off my manners when I am interacting with my children.

As a result my 33 month old uses please and thank you and generally utilizes good manners.  While I am not implying that my eldest always uses good manners - what I am implying is that by modeling good manners when I talk with my children STARTed teaching them good manners at birth.

What do you think?

Wisdom Wednesday

“Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”  - Author Elizabeth Stone

The love I have for my children is more powerful than I ever knew possible.  I hope you feel the same way about your children...

Wisdom Wednesday

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

As a parent, you are a leader!  Whether or not you aspired to be a leader within your chosen profession or you are quite content being an individual contributor to your employer - being a parent makes you a leader.

Do you consider yourself a leader to your children?  When you are in the midst of cleaning up an ultra messy diaper, doing the laundry, fixing dinner, and attempting to fix a boo boo, are you thinking of yourself as a leader?

When you are a parent, your children are watching, observing and learning from everything they see you doing.  Your children admire you, look up to you - in the eyes of your children you are the sun, the moon and the stars!

Embrace the words of former President Adams - go be the mom or dad that inspires your children to dream more, learn more, do more and become more.  You are their leader!

Was that supposed to be helpful?

When I became a mom, my baby and I were settling into a home routine when an unsolicited issue of Parents magazine arrived in my mailbox.  Without having signed up for a subscription I was the recipient of an issue - apparently once you gift birth you are automatically given a subscription to Parents magazine.

Like any good parent, I read my first issue page by page - cover to cover.  As I read I carefully marked pages I wanted to refer back to when my baby was further along in the first year.  I followed this same process with the first few issues of the magazine. 

One evening my husband came home from work and I was bawling.  I had read an article in the magazine that I would swear linked poor housekeeping and literacy (granted this was nearly 3 years ago and I cannot locate the article today).  As I read that article, I looked around my house - seeing the dust piling up on my shelves, I was convinced my child would never learn to read!

After I recovered from my devastation - and assuring myself my child would not be illiterate due to my lack of detailed housekeeping - I began perusing these articles with skepticism. 

While I think there is value in the Parents publication and it does offer relevant, pertinent information to moms and dads, sometimes the information can be misleading and can cause trusting parents undue alarm.  For example, in the August 2012 issue, there is an article titled An Autism Red Flag.  This brief blurb on page 56 tells parents [in bold text], "they found that if you pull a 6-month-old up to sit and his head lags behind, he'll be more likely to be diagnosed with autism at age 3 than a baby whose head doesn't fall back."

The article then goes on to tell parents that if they perform this test on their 6 month old and the baby's head does lag behind, don't panic [in plain text].  I feel certain that the study this article cites has validity, but I also feel certain that Parents misrepresented the study and potentially causes moms and dads like myself unnecessary panic.

There is often hype around new study findings in the media - leading the trusting public to swing from one extreme to another. I find that it's best to take the plethora of information thrown at us (especially tips on parenting) with a healthy dose of apprehension.  Don't let well-meaning tips and tricks interfere with your own beliefs and practices of  parenting - after all you know your child better than any magazine article ever will.  And when in doubt, consult an expert before jumping to any conclusions.

Wisdom Wednesday

“If your children look up to you, you’ve made a success of life’s biggest job.”  - Unknown

When working full-time outside the home it's easy to get caught up in career advancement and successes at your paid job.  I am guilty of that myself!

I try to keep this in mind - my most important full-time job is raising my children - although there is no monetary paycheck, the rewards far outweigh all the gold in the world!

Wishing you success with your most important full-time job.

Wisdom Wednesday

This is the first in a new series titled Wisdom Wednesday - a series where every Wednesday I will feature a quote that is apropros to full-time parents who work full-time outside the home.

The first Wisdom Wednesday quote is from former first lady, Lady Bird Johnson:

"Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them."

Believe your children are amazing people who will make positive contributions to your life and the lives of others!

The Look

Growing up there was a look my mom could give and no matter how rowdy we were we would stop dead in our tracks.  When we got the look, my sister and I knew we had crossed an imaginary line - gone from irritating her to seriously making her mad.  No matter the location or the situation, that look communcated millions of words in just moments - and when we got that look we knew our mom was serious.

Recently someone asked me what my mom "thing" was.  Did I have a word or look that let my kids know I was serious and there was no more fooling around?

My response was, "I don't think I have one."

Over the next few days I observed my interactions with my children to identify my mom "thing".

I figured out my mom "thing" was stating, "I am done."  When my children push my buttons and I need to retake control of the situation, I boldly state, "I am done."  And when my oldest hears that statement, behaviors suddenly change and usually the situation improves.

So what's your mom or dad "thing"? What do you do to communicate to your chlidren that they have crossed a line with you?

Counting Blessings

It's been one of THOSE days.  You know those days...when every time you turn around, something else seems to be falling apart. The days you fear that at any moment you may lose your sanity.

We've all had those moments, days, weeks. What do you do when falling apart is not an option - even though that option may seem most appealing?

When I experience bumps in the road I try to remember what I value - those things that are most important in my life.  What are those things?

1. My family (my children and husband) are the most important people in my life - if they are happy, I am happy.
2. If no one is on fire - chances are things will work out just fine - maybe not the way I'd like, but they will be fine.
3. Things always work out the way they are supposed to - again maybe not the way I want them to, but the way they are supposed to.
4. The smile on my children's faces makes my heart smile.
5. Thinking positively can change your perspective.
6. Doing kind things for people can be rejuvenating.
7. Life is too short to dwell on any one thing.
8. Someday I will miss my children being this age and long for it to return so it's best to find the joy in each situation.
9. I have found a true partner in life who brings out the best in me while I bring out the best in him.
10. My life is very blessed and to truly appreciate your blessings, you must also experience the bumps.

Some of these may be cliché but it works for me - keeps me grounded when I might otherwise lose it.  In the moment, I admit it's tough to rally the list of important things to the front of my mind - but every time I am able to overcome my frustration as a result of this list, somehow it feels like the bumps flatten out and I can sail a little smoother.

What is in your purse?

Chatting with a friend the other day, I was recounting a public restroom experience with my potty training toddler.  In a nutshell, the story was this - my toddler was attempting to use the toilet with an automatic flusher and mid-urination attempt, the toilet flushed - freaking my toddler out. 

Immediately my friend said, "Post-it notes."

I learned that by placing a post-it note over the sensor of an automatic flush toilet prevents the sensor from responding to a toddler's fidgeting while sitting on the potty.  My friend recommended placing a pad of post-its in my purse to curb any future public restroom potty training trauma.

Brilliant! 

That evening I placed post-its in my purse - and then I started thinking about how my purse had become a catch all for curbing toddler catastrophes.

Before children, my purse was about my needs - now it's more about the needs of the other people in my life.  My purse contains

• Band Aids - to mend minor scrapes and scratches
• Post-it Notes - to prevent toilets from flushing
• iPhone (with toddler apps) - to entertain rowdy children
• Cereal bars - in case my toddler says, "I'm hungry."
• Rice Cakes - for my baby to munch on
• Pacifiers - an extra in case we lose one
• Crayons and Paper
• Baby Wipes

With all the items in my purse and having recently learned I was missing something, I began to wonder what else I should add to my collection. 

What items are in your purse?  What items do you keep handy when you are out?  What items do you recommend other parents keep handy when they are out and about?  Post your thoughts here...

Freeze Dried Yogurt

Whose child does not LOVE Gerber Graduates Yogurt Melts?  Have your children tried these yummy, creamy melt in your mouth yogurt goodness?  Would they eat nearly an entire bag in one sitting if you let them?

Source:  Gerber.com

Prices on Gerber Yogurt Melts (which are freeze dried yogurt) can be as little as $2.50 and as high as $3.99 for a 1 ounce bag of snacks.  According to the package, there are 4 servings per bag - costing nearly $1.00 per snack. 

Even if you purchase generic brand freeze dried yogurt, they are hard to find for less than $2.50 per ounce - costing nearly $.70 per snack.

When I only had one child, we could stretch our Yogurt Melts out to 6 or 8 snacks - significantly reducing our expense per snack.  My oldest is past the "learning to self-feed" finger foods - but as many parents have experienced, now that my youngest is eating the "learning to self-feed" finger foods, my toddler insists on trying them too!  Once a pack of Yogurt Melts are open in our house, they are likely to be depleted within hours.  So much for cost cutting efforts!

Frustrated at the cost of these snacks and not wanting to deny my toddler's enjoyment when eating them, - my quest to find less expensive Yogurt Melts began...

Unable to locate Gerber Yogurt Melts in bulk, I tried searching for generic freeze dried yogurt for purchase in bulk.  What I discovered is an amazing alternative to Gerber Yogurt Melts - Thrive Yogurt Bites! 

Source:  shelfreliance.com

Reading reviews, testimonials, and researching Shelf Reliance - I decided the Yogurt Bites were worth trying. 

I ordered a #10 can of Strawberry Yogurt Bites and as soon as they arrived, opened the can to try them.  I could not believe how delicious this freeze dried yogurt was - perhaps even better than Gerber's! 

The true test remained - feeding it to my children and getting their response.  My youngest tried one and immediately wanted more.  Since the Yogurt Bites look different than the Yogurt Melts, my toddler was skeptical - after some coaxing the verdict was favorable!

Don't misunderstand, freeze dried yogurt (or freeze dried food of any kind) is still more expensive than the food in its non-freeze dried state.  Since freeze dried yogurt is a relatively healthy snack for children and we will be purchasing them as a standard snack for at least the next few months, I have discovered our less expensive alternative to Gerber Yogurt Melts and would recommend them to any one!

New Baby Must Haves

When you are expecting a child, advertisers suggest you need various items to make your baby comfortable, happy, and healthy while also easing your life as a parent.  I have see advertisements for products that are, in my opinion, not necessary to even create for the masses to purchase.  A few examples:

• Walking Wings - a product to assist you in assisting your child as he or she learns to walk
• Helmets - a product that protects the head while your child toddles around
• Kneepads - a product that protects knees from the hazards of crawling.

It can be tempting to purchase (or want to purchase) everything that claims to make your child safer or your life easier as you prepare to navigate through the first year of parenting.  Who wouldn't want their child to never fall when learning to walk?  Who wouldn't want their child to never bump their head?  Who wouldn't want their baby's knees to remain unscathed?

There are many products on the market that, in theory, appear to be a must have.  As a parent you want the very best for your most precious creation - so it's reasonable to assume that buying some of these products would help you provide the best for your child.

Despite my attempt to register for products my newborn and I would use on our journey, inevitably there were items I registered for and received that - two children later - I never utilized.  Likewise I received items that I'd never heard of that proved to be extremely useful and I wondered why I'd never heard about them.

Below are the items I believe are helpful and would wholeheartedly recommend for every new parent:

• Itzbeen - a timer that tracks all the necessities for baby in one place.  During the first week of a newborns life, parents have a plethora of things to track - length of time between feedings, number of wet diapers, what side the baby last breast fed on, etc.  This timer was a lifesaver for me - I was able to know at a glance what was going on with my baby and what I could anticipate next (feeding time, sleep time, diaper change).
• Playyard/Pack n Play with a Bassinet and changing table attachment - creates a space to care for your newborn that is compact and convenient.
• MyBrestfriend  - a breast feeding pillow that supports baby at the breast and helps make breast feeding easier.  This product helped me successfully breastfeed both my children throughout their first year.  I do recommend purchasing an additional cover because you will want to wash it when your newborn spits up (which is inevitable on a feeding pillow).
• Breast Pump - if you work outside the home you definitely need to have a high quality breast pump.  While they can be rather pricey, the investment will save you time and frustration while you are pumping and save you money on feeding your child.  (Breast milk is free!)
• Swaddler - makes swaddling your newborn quick and easy. 
• Video Monitor - gives you the luxury of being able to see what your baby is doing.  This comes in especially handy when your baby begins to pull him or her self up into a standing position - if they cry out while in bed you can look to see if they are awake enough to be standing  - that's how I am certain my baby needs me versus just readjusting in the crib and making some noises. 
• Infant Gas Drops - I have never come across a baby who doesn't get gassy and need something to help them with the gas.

Beyond the obvious diapers, clothing, bottles, etc - what items do you consider must haves for new parents?  Let's trade ideas here, post your comments.

Top Ten Books for Toddlers

Part of our nighttime routine with my 2 1/2 year old is to read a few books.  When we started this routine we had a handful of books to select from for our nightly ritual.  Going to the library to explore some more options - I discovered the seemingly endless supply of children's books to choose from. 

Honestly I was a little overwhelmed with the multitude of children's books - not being well versed in children's literature I was not sure where to start...

I jumped into the books and started selecting some that seemed to catch my eye.  Having checked out a fraction of books in the children's section of my local library, we have found some favorites and some not so favorites.  Here are 10 of our favorites to read:

1. Pug In A Truck by Nancy Coffelt
2. You Can Do Anything Daddy by Michael Rex
3. How I Became A Pirate by Melinda Long and David Shannon
4. ABC by Dr. Seuss
5. Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss
6. My Big Rig by Jonathan London
7. The Best Nest by P.D. Eastman
8. It's Not Easy Being A Bunny by Marilyn Sadler
9. The Color Kittens by Margaret Wise Brown
10. Corduroy by Don Freeman

What are some of your favorite children's books?  Share them here...we love taking new adventures in books!

Travel with Homemade Baby Food

On July 19 I blogged about Homemade Baby Food and you might recall from that post that I make homemade baby food for my children. 

Once I had a routine down - steaming fruits and vegetables, blending and freezing them - my job outside the home required me to travel by air to another location.  At the time I was still nursing my firstborn and was unwilling to venture away for an entire week - leaving pumped milk for him and not being available to nurse.  As a result, my husband, baby and I took the trip together.

Having access to only a dorm size fridge with a tiny freezer at our hotel was a problem when trying to travel with frozen blended vegetable and fruit ice cubes.  We packed ice packs into a cooler, packed the frozen food cubes and off we went.  As you can probably imagine, by the time we got to our hotel many of the cubes had already begun to melt...long story short, we ended up pitching much of the food cubes we transported with us because I was fearful of unintentionally giving my child food poisoning.

Thankfully I also brought oatmeal that we could cook with the hot water from the in-room coffee pot and some Gerber yogurt blends that do not require refrigeration until opened.  We survived and since my then 9 month old was also eating finger foods and still nursing 5 times a day - he definitely did not know it was supposed to be any different.

A month ago I was again required to travel by air for a week to the same location.  Knowing how stressful it had been two years prior to travel with frozen food cubes, it was not something I was interested in repeating. 

I reluctantly began considering travelling with organic baby food - even though that felt so contrary to everything I believed about homemade baby food.  I went to several stores to see what organic baby food options existed and found the variety extremely limited with prices that were outrageous (when compared to the pennies I was spending making my own baby food). 

Frustrated I began googling the subject.  To my dismay, any information I found talked about travelling with a cooler, plenty of ice and ensuring access to a freezer upon arrival or just relenting and resorting to commercial baby food.

Just as I was about to give in to my frustration and purchase the commercial organic baby food in my shopping cart, something caught my eye and has forever changed the way I will travel with healthy foods.

Freeze dried peas were right in front of me - as if inviting me to utilize them to make baby food.  Excited to find a possible alternative, I abandon my cart and purchased the package of freeze dried peas.  That evening I re-hydrated the peas by placing them in a bowl and adding water.  After letting them soak for approximately 10 minutes - I placed them in our Magic Bullet and voila - pureed peas!

Once I verified that my baby would eat the previously freeze dried pureed peas, I began searching for freeze dried vegetables to purchase.  North Bay Trading Company had just what I was looking for - a variety of freeze dried vegetables and fruits for purchase in reasonable quantities. 

The freeze dried fruits and vegetables were light and easy to pack into a suitcase and were a breeze to prepare in a hotel room - leaving our most recent travel experience with stress free homemade baby food for my second born!

Sacrifices

Sacrifices are part of parenting and I would argue part of good parenting.  Many women sacrifice small pieces of themselves for the betterment of their families.

According to an article from the University of California (Women Sacrifice Sleep to Juggle Family and Work), the majority of American women are sleep deprived.  In an effort to fulfill all their responsibilities - work, family, relationships, etc - women begin sacrificing sleep to meet all the demands placed on their time and energy.  The sleep deprivation can also be compounded by biological changes - pregnancy, menopause, etc - that can sometimes contribute to sleeplessness. 

I would agree there are few working women in America who do not routinely sacrifice sleep to keep their children, spouses, careers, etc. on track.  Personally, when I need more hours in a day the first thing I do is stay up a little later and set the alarm a little earlier.  Then when I am in need of some recharging the following day, I pop open a can of diet coke to get some caffeine.

While sleep is a huge sacrifice that can have serious and often noticeable side effects (outlined in the article), how many sacrifices do working moms make daily that are completely overlooked?

Here are a few sacrifices that I make routinely for the betterment of my family:

• Sharing my dinner plate with grubby hands
• Giving the last piece of my favorite dessert to see a smile on the face of my preschooler
• Showering  more quickly to tend to a baby who woke up earlier than expected
• Skipping breakfast in an effort to make up the time "lost" changing simultaneous poopy diapers
• Buying generic rather than name brand so I can get a toy that I know will make my child's day

I know I'm not the only mom who would do anything for the betterment of their families.  What sacrifices do you make that are often overlooked?  Let's celebrate the sacrifices we make together by jotting them down.  I'd love to read your thoughts - comment below!

Sleep Tight

Sleep deprivation is the reality for most parents.  After labor and delivery - which is sometimes 12 to 24 hours - your new baby needs to eat every 2-3 hours - I know I'm not the only mother who was certain she would never sleep again!

I remember there was a period of time with my first born that I was convinced I would NEVER sleep more than 3 consecutive hours for the rest of my life! 

Looking back at that period of new motherhood - it was such a short time and flew by quickly!  Before both of my children were 8 weeks old, they were consistently sleeping through the night.

Experts will tell you that it takes longer for breast fed babies to sleep through the night than formula fed babies.  I exclusively breast fed both of my children - they slept through the night before many formula fed babies I know!

I knew I wanted to breastfeed my children - the health benefits to babies and cost savings was enough to convince me.  I also knew I had to work full-time too. 

On-demand feeding, according to an article on Baby Center, is feeding your baby when he or she shows cues that they are hungry.  Schedule feeding is how it sounds, you feed your baby at determined intervals.  There are pros and cons to each of the methods - when I was becoming a mom both methods made sense to me for differing reasons.

What is the connection between feeding methods and sleeping?  How did I get my children to sleep through the night so quickly?  Have they continued to sleep through the night?

I chose the Baby Wise method of feeding my children - it appeared to me to be a great hybrid between on-demand and scheduled feedings - the Baby Wise method includes Parent Directed Feedings (PDF).

The basics of PDF for a new born are this:

• Feed your baby at intervals of 2-3 hours during the day (as they provide hunger cues)
• After day time feedings, keep your baby awake for 30-60 minutes after the feeding
• Before bed, feed the baby in a dark, quiet room and put them to bed immediately following the feeding
• When the baby wakes to eat during the night, feed the baby in the dark and put them back in bed after eating

As the baby grows, the length of time between feedings increases. 

Utilizing the PDF method worked for both of my children and we are living proof of the Baby Wise claims that your child will sleep through the night sooner and develop good sleeping habits for life.  While I cannot predict the future, for the time being my 2 1/2 year old and 9 month old both sleep all night every night - and if I had it to do again, I would definitely use the PDF method again!

Homemade Baby Food

Like all parents I want the very best for my children. Like most people I want my paycheck to stretch as far as possible.

Adding cereal and basic baby food to a baby's routine seemed to creep up on me with my first born. We had just gotten really efficient at nursing and now we were supposed to add something new.

My sister invited me to a class about homemade baby food taught by the cooperative extension office. As the baby boomer distributed recipes, reviewed preparation techniques, and touted the financial savings - I vowed to feed my child homemade baby food exclusively.

Making homemade baby food is relatively simple and offers your baby the opportunity to sample foods not offered in commercial baby foods.  At best I was able to identify 8-10 different first foods for babies in the commercial variety.  By making my own baby food, my children were able to try 20-30 various fruits and vegetables - including Bok Choy, Spinach, Spaghetti Squash, Mango just to name a few - before 12 months of age.

Because I was not 100% confident in my ability to select and prepare fruits and vegetables for my first born, I purchased Blender Baby Food.  With a few additional supplies (a blender and several ice cube trays) I embarked on the extraordinary journey of homemade baby food.

By utilizing a couple of hours each weekend to steam and blend fruits and vegetables, I was able to provide homemade baby food for my oldest.  Once I got a system down, I found that making my own baby food was more convenient than purchasing jars. 

Here's what I did:

1. Purchased in season fresh vegetables and fruits from a local Farmer's Market (substituted frozen when fresh was not an option)
2. Steamed the vegetables and/or fruits
3. Once steamed, let them cool
4. Placed the vegetable and/or fruit in the blender (I recommend the Magic Bullet but have used my blender)
5. Add enough water from the water used to steam the food to make the food the consistency you desire
6. Place blended baby food in ice cube trays, cover with plastic wrap and freeze
7. Once frozen (after approximately 24 hours) remove cubes from tray and place in labeled freezer bags

Here are a couple of pitfalls to avoid:

• Frozen Peas often contain salt (Birds Eye frozen peas are the only brand of frozen peas that do not have salt added to them)
•  If you make your own rice cereal, you can use baby formula samples to add iron to the rice (since that is the stated benefit to utilizing instant baby cereals)

It would have easy to buy baby food and utilize the time I dedicated to that venture somewhere else.  But when my 2 year old enthusiastically requests peas for dinner, I am grateful I took the time to offer variety in his first year - I think that contributes to his healthy choices now!

Why a Blog

I'm a perfectionist - I admit it.  When I was preparing for the birth of my first child, I wanted to be the perfect mother.  During my quest I read What to Expect When You're Expecting, Your Pregnancy Week by Week, On Becoming Babywise and just about any other pregnancy/parenting related books that were recommended by anyone and everyone.

I discovered many pregnant women focused their fears on the aches and pains of pregnancy - the length of labor, the pain of contractions, the administering of epidurals, etc.  I focused on "life after labor" - being the perfect mother to a perfect angel.  In my view, the weight of the world was literally on my shoulders - being ultimately responsible for a baby and raising them to be independent, positive, confident, happy, healthy, etc. was huge!

I became a big "googler".  I started googling EVERYTHING.  Any time I found conflicting information in books, articles, advice from people, I would search the topic on google to get perspectives from other sources.

Sometimes my searching would net a conclusive answer or guidance for my parenting dilemma of the moment.  More often than not my search netted more questions and more confusion.  Most of the time I would take all the information I gathered and build my own answers and guidance.

I quickly realized most of the parenting information on the Internet is polarizing - pitting "stay at home" ideals against "working parent" needs.  Since many people are not able to take the time to research and synthesize the information they gather, they muddle through doing the best they can.  By writing down some of my own research based insights and experiences, I hope this blog helps parents - who work outside the home, inside the home, and any where else - reach confident and beneficial parenting decisions.